Sunday, June 19, 2005

and when i found you i used up all my happiness

a quote my friend was using on her MSN nick. it was supposed to be in chinese, and definitely sounds nicer in chinese, but I thought i'd put it up for kicks. it is a rather romantic thought, using up all your happiness when you've finally found the person that is your happiness. i hope one day i would be able to truly say that.

someone asked me what i feared yesterday, and well it set me thinking. i didn't mention what i feared in the end... but well, i fear alot of things. i fear loss, i fear loneliness, i fear betrayal. i fear the masks that people wear and the true faces behind the masks. i fear how nothing is ever what they seem and how nothing in life is truly in my control. i am afraid to discover that what i believe to be true may one day turn out to be what i least expected. i dread my mask and the removal of my mask. i dread knowing one day that i might have given too much of myself away, with nothing in return. i am afraid to hear what i do not want to hear. i am scared to remove my rose tinted glasses to see the world in all its harsh glory. i fear the world, i fear myself. and most of all, i fear you that can wrest control of me from me with such simple tools. such danger and fear. and yet moths are always attracted to the candle flame..

n.b. cryptic post. you're not really meant to understand it ^^;

stardusted at 11:04 AM | link?

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