Friday, March 12, 2004

Ned Kelly

WOOHOO!!! haha, watched Ned Kelly!! It's a show based on the true story of an australian outlaw. And if you're wondering why I watched it, we-ell, one word. Orli. XD They only screened it today though, for the Australian Film Fest, though I have to say, the majority of the audience was female. XD Orli and Heath Ledger were very good eye candy. ^^

On the whole, the movie was rather good. It wasn't breathtaking like Big Fish, but it was a good story, and I enjoyed it while it lasted. Everything tended towards the artsy-fartsy though, with enigmatic looks and detatched views on things. That was expected. I mean, it's an Arts Festival! But what I didn't expect was the comedy. *ROTFLMAO* My friend and I were doubled over with laughter for the next hour after the show *big sweatdrop* We couldn't stop laughing. And it was over the -same- jokes ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Let's see (and I have to add, I made some notes on what jokes to recount later cos they were so funny XD), there was, firstly the escapade getting INTO the cinema ^^;;; The movie was NC-16, so the doorman (stupid doorman), requested for our IDs to verify our age. That was fine, I mean, he has to do his job. Though I was quite sure both my friend and I did NOT look younger than sixteen ^^; So fine. I hand over my driving license. Normal intelligent doormen would check the picture to verify if the person on the license was me. This guy (joker that he is), however, peered at the birth date on my license, and proceeded to attempt some mental calculations as to my age. Which prompted me to say, very incredulously, 'It's a DRIVING LICENSE!!!' =_=||| *rolls eyes* Stupid doorman *LOL* I mean, it's singapore!!!! People can only drive if they're EIGHTEEN!!! ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

But that was only the beginning. The movie itself was waaaaay funnier *LOL* Orlando Bloom has really really good comic timing *ROTFL* And half of it was probably unintentional *lol* Poor guy. He keeps getting all the looker parts with the very redundant lines. *LOL* His role in this show was as the Romeo/Don Juan in the Kelly Gang (i.e. the name of the band of outlaws). Throughout the entire movie, he was seen to be intimate with at least four women of different ages. XD Joe Byrne, his character, was the bext friend of Ned Kelly (Heath Ledger), the captain of the gang. And basically the movie traced how normal guys like them became outlaws, learnt the 'tools of the trade', so to speak, and eventually died.

And so, having explained all that, I can begin to explain the jokes. XD SPOILERS!!!

In one scene, the guys had to rob a bank for the first time. And so you see Joe and Ned dressed in their sunday best strutting into the bank. Ned looks as if he's about to fire a shot to alert the bank's personnel, but decides against it and gingerly presses the bell instead. *LOL* And when the banker finally appears, they introduce themselves using their real names. And Monsieur Banker says, "You look familar, but I can't quite place it.." which prompts Ned and Joe to whip out their guns and announce that they're robbing the bank. *LOL*

Upon collecting the cash, they make their way to the second floor, where the Banker's family lives. Banker's ridiculous wife (think Vanyel's mother) starts going into this long harangue about how she is dressed for a funeral, and is hence not 'properly dressed' for being kidnapped and rough-handled on a horse. She starts insisting that they let her change, and even states that she got a new dress that would be 'just right' for the occassion. XD XD XD And so Ned, who obviously couldn't win against one woman's obsessive behaviour, relents and allows her to change. He then orders Joe to go follow the woman and see that she doesn't do anything ridiculous like absail out of the windows with her bloomers. XD

Joe, of course, being the womanizer, follows her -very- readily. XD And starts making out with her. So obviously they were taking a long time XD Meanwhile, back in the living room, you see the other outlaws having a great time chatting with the maid and the children and reading books. Then the camera closes in on the banker, who goes 'she's taking awfully long to change!' *ROTFLMAO* What's also funny is the fact that the woman is at least 20 years orli's senior, and looks old and ugly *big sweatdrop* Orli was really pro acting like he was smitten *ROTFL*

In another scene, the band camped out at a rich lady's house. While the rest were taking quickie baths, i.e. dumping water over their heads, Joe was lounging in the bathtub, and smoking *LOL* And when the pretty asian maid comes in, he starts going on to her in CANTONESE!!! Which turned out to be better than Ewan Mcgregor's in Big Fish. At least I understood. *rotfl* His pickup lines, after translation, goes somethign like this, "Do you mind helping me scrub my back? *holds up sponge and smirks* I can't reach it*half-lidded eyes*" *ROTFL* Which makes you think, if half the male population couldn't reach their backs, and couldn't find a pretty maid to do it for 'em, well they'd have dirty backs, no? XD

Oh, oh, and the Great Orlando thing!!! *haha* On one of their trips, they encoutered the travelling circus of the Great Orlando. *ROTFL* I mean, it could have had another name, like the great Marlon or the Great Waldo, but noooo. It had to be Orlando *LOL* Said Great Orlando was also a fat old man ^^;;; Which led to many puns. For example, they were in the tavern, and Joe is nowhere to be seen. And just as he enters, someone says, the Great Orlando is here or somethign like that *LOL* So funny. XD

The finale in the entire get up was Joe's death. *collapses into helpless giggles* His character went mad towards the end, when he saw all he death around him. And proceeded to announce gleefully, when a monkey was shot, 'Oh look! They shot the monkey!!!' ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Which reminded me of the part in ROTK where he said 'A diversion' right after Aragorn said 'we can divert their attention'. *ROTFL*

Then, when he couldn't take it anymore, he walked over, a little crazedly, to the bar for some wine. Of COURSE he was shot in the process, in what looked like a non-fatal shot, but he died VERY QUICKLY nonetheless XD The way he died was ridiculous!!! I mean, he sort of realised he was shot, then he slides down very quickly. And just when you think he has died, his head tilts at this very weird angle. *ROTFL* And it's so obviously deliberate that you can't help but laugh XD My friend later commented that his acting was real good, but he still hasn't learnt how to die properly yet. *LOL* I guess you can't blame him. *lol* So far, none of his roles (look: legolas) required dying *LOL*

But all in all, it was funny. And Orli can act, seriously. ^^ Except the dying *buahahahah*

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